The Great Dihydrogen Monoxide Prank of 1998: When the Water Department Called the Cops!
In the annals of great pranks, a few stand out as legendary: the Swiss Spaghetti Harvest of 1957, the BBC’s Flying Penguins of 2008, and, of course, The Great Dihydrogen Monoxide Prank of 1998. This infamous stunt took place in a quiet Midwestern town, shaking the very foundation of local governance, befuddling officials, and culminating in an actual police investigation. It remains one of the most brilliantly executed scientific pranks in history.
The Genesis of the Prank
It all started with a high school chemistry class—more specifically, an overzealous chemistry teacher named Mr. Bradbury, who had a penchant for both dry humor and rigorous scientific accuracy. One day, while discussing chemical nomenclature, he mentioned that dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) was present in nearly everything they consumed and encountered. He playfully exaggerated its dangers, explaining how it could cause suffocation in high concentrations, contribute to corrosion, and even be found in cancerous tumors.
The students, a mischievous yet intelligent group of juniors, saw an opportunity. A few of them—Ryan, Lisa, and Mark—hatched a plan: what if they could convince the town that DHMO was a dangerous chemical contaminating their water supply? The prank, they reasoned, would be harmless but educational, forcing people to question their own scientific literacy. And so, the Great Dihydrogen Monoxide Prank was born.
Step One: The Flyers
Lisa, the most artistically inclined of the trio, designed a series of official-looking flyers, warning the town about a dangerous chemical infiltrating their water supply. The text was deliberately alarming:
“WARNING: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE DETECTED IN LOCAL WATER!
- Causes severe tissue damage in prolonged exposure!
- Found in deadly storms, hurricanes, and acid rain!
- Present in nearly all cancerous tumors!
- Can cause suffocation and death if inhaled!
FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL THE WATER DEPARTMENT IMMEDIATELY!”
To add to the authenticity, they included the actual phone number of the town’s Water Department.
Step Two: Dissemination
On a chilly Wednesday night, the trio embarked on their mission. They plastered the flyers all over town—on telephone poles, in grocery stores, and even slipped them under doors in the wealthier neighborhoods. They also strategically placed a few at the local newspaper office, ensuring the town’s most inquisitive minds would take notice.
The next morning, the town woke up to the chilling warning. Concerned citizens took action, flooding the Water Department with phone calls.
Step Three: The Panic
By mid-morning, chaos had erupted. The Water Department’s receptionist, a sweet but easily flustered woman named Mrs. Hastings, had already fielded over 50 calls from terrified residents. People demanded answers: Was the water safe? Had they been drinking poison? What was being done to eliminate this so-called dihydrogen monoxide?!
Confused and alarmed, the Water Department’s director, Mr. Dempsey, tried to get to the bottom of the matter. Upon reading one of the flyers, he furrowed his brows. Something felt off. He called a town hall meeting and invited local officials, including the mayor, the head of the public health department, and even the fire chief. Together, they read the flyer again and again, scrutinizing every line.
And then, the penny dropped.
The Big Realization
It was the fire chief, an ex-military man named Captain Reynolds, who first figured it out. “Wait a minute,” he muttered, flipping through a firefighter’s handbook. “Dihydrogen monoxide… that’s just water!”
Silence fell over the room. Then came the embarrassed chuckles. They had been pranked—badly.
Unfortunately, not everyone found it amusing. Mr. Dempsey, already having endured a morning of complaints and borderline hysteria, did not take kindly to being the butt of a joke. He immediately called the police, demanding an investigation into what he termed “a deliberate attempt to incite public panic.”
The Investigation
By early afternoon, two uniformed officers were dispatched to look into the matter. While not entirely convinced of the gravity of the “crime,” they had no choice but to take the Water Department’s concerns seriously.
Through some sleuthing (and a tip-off from an amused chemistry teacher who had overheard whisperings in his class), they soon traced the prank back to Ryan, Lisa, and Mark. The three pranksters were called into the principal’s office, where the town’s police chief, Principal Adams, and an exasperated Mr. Dempsey were waiting.
The Confrontation
Chief Wilkins, a no-nonsense man with a well-earned reputation for intimidation, fixed the teenagers with a stern glare. “Do you kids think this is funny? Making the entire town believe their water was poisoned?”
Ryan, barely suppressing a grin, replied, “Sir, we never said it was poisoned. Everything on that flyer was 100% true. Dihydrogen monoxide can cause suffocation, and it is present in cancerous tumors. We simply reported scientific facts.”
Lisa, ever the diplomat, added, “We just wanted to encourage people to think critically before panicking. We didn’t mean for it to get out of hand.”
The principal and police chief exchanged glances. The kids did have a point. There was no actual crime, no false statements—just a cleverly worded, scientifically accurate hoax.
The Aftermath
In the end, the trio was let off with a stern warning. Mr. Bradbury, though unable to publicly condone their actions, privately told them it was “the single greatest application of chemistry knowledge he’d ever seen in his classroom.”
Meanwhile, the townspeople, after getting over their embarrassment, began to laugh about it. The local newspaper ran a headline the next day: “Crisis Averted: Water Still Just Water.”
The Great Dihydrogen Monoxide Prank of 1998 went down in local history as both a brilliant lesson in scientific literacy and a hilarious example of how easily fear can spread. To this day, it remains one of the most entertaining, harmless, and educational pranks ever played on an unsuspecting town.